When Our Worlds Fall Apart by Lindsey Iler

Author:Lindsey Iler [Iler, Lindsey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lindsey Iler
Published: 2015-11-14T08:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

Graham

Bat gripped tight, I swing it over and over again to warm up my muscles. Using this time to settle my nerves is the only way to get through this.

The metal door slams against the wall, and the loud crash silences the room. Mark strolls in, greeting the guys with high-fives. The glare he directs at me could make a kitten cry. Someone has tipped him off about how friendly Kennedy and I were earlier.

I drop my bat and exit the cage, leaving my safe, protected place. Outside of it, I’m vulnerable to my friend’s wrath. I follow him into the locker room. His back tightens as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head, but he doesn’t face me.

“Don’t fucking start with me today,” Mark barks. His phone lands in his bag and he slams his locker shut. He finally turns towards me. Breaths shallow, face red, and eyes narrowed, he’s seconds away from knocking me out.

“Don’t be an asshole,” I snarl. “Have you talked to Kennedy?” His anger flares at my raised eyebrow.

“She’s my girlfriend, Graham.” Mark slams his fist into his locker door.

Hearing him refer to her as his girlfriend makes me gag.

I said I was coping, okay? I’m not a saint.

“I know it’s going to make you uncomfortable, but I need you to understand where I’m coming from. Kennedy’s important–”

Mark cuts me off. “She wasn’t that important to you last year.”

“That’s not fair and you know it, Mark. I walked out on her to give her a chance.”

“A chance at what, exactly? Everyone sees the way you still watch her. It’s no secret. And you coming and going makes it worse for her and confuses her more. You make her question her choices, and I’m one of them.”

I ignore his comment and focus on his question. “To be happy, and she is happy,” I jab a finger at him, “with you.”

Okay, I gagged for real that time.

Mark’s eyes narrow in on me. “And you’re okay with that?”

“I’ll love that girl ‘til the day I die, Mark, but I can’t make her happy. So, I’m letting her go.”

“Sure you are.” He scoffs, then walks away.

“Mark, don’t misinterpret my willingness to let her go for my willingness to stop loving her. You need to understand that when you’re with her, a part of me will always want to be where you are. My heart beats for that girl. The only reason I’m letting her go is for her.” I stand with my whole body slouched.

“Graham...” Mark’s eyes soften for a split second and then harden again.

Friend or not, he doesn’t have any sympathy for me. “Just don’t, okay? Last year, you told me she’s not the type of girl you just fuck around with, and you’re right. I just didn’t figure it out soon enough.” I rush past him. I want to leave him with my words playing on repeat in his head.

Mark and I avoid each other until pitching practice. Ever since freshman year when we were pulled to Varsity, he’s been my catcher.

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